Do you find it easy to stand your ground in a conversation? To hold your position, calm and steady, and share what you think, no matter how the other person responds?
It often amazes me when I see people who are confident, secure in sharing their opinion, no matter how strongly others react. Is that you? There have been many times when it hasn’t been me!
But it’s something God has been gently helping me with lately.
For some reason, when someone disagrees with me in certain contexts, I can struggle to hold my ground. If the other person responds forcefully and disagrees, even when I know I’m right, I can easily find myself backing down and pretending I agree with them.
By God’s grace, it’s a lot easier to hold my ground is when I’m been talking about the good news of Jesus, which I believe everyone needs to hear and respond to. In those situations, I know that I know the truth, and that the other person needs it. I’ve far from always succeeded, but, as I depend on the Holy Spirit, He helps me to hold my ground.
But, in other situations, I can easily back down.
But the Lord been working in my heart, helping me to realise that my identity comes from Him, and not from how the other person responds. He tells me who I am, and, in Christ, my identity is secure. That doesn’t mean I am always right, but it does mean that the other person’s reaction has no bearing on my identity. And it does mean that I’m not automatically wrong just because they strongly disagree.
At least a couple of times recently, I’ve been in conversations where I have genuinely had more knowledge than the other person. My information has been from the official sources, and I’ve known that I was right. Normally, even if I knew I was right, I would have backed down. But, as I prayed, I seemed to sense the Holy Spirit encouraging me with something like, ‘You’re right’. As I waited on Him and asked Him what to do, it was like He whispered something like, “Hold your ground”. I didn’t need to shout or panic or make a fuss. I just needed to quietly, calmly hold my ground. And, as things played out, me sharing the truth actually helped in the situation, and brought good.
I don’t need to be forceful. I don’t need to be mean. I don’t need to shout and scream or anything like that. But there is something powerful about being gentle, yet firm. Quietly, calmly holding my ground. It isn’t up to me to convince the other person. It isn’t my job to change their mind. But nor should I pretend I that must be wrong, just because I’m afraid of their reaction.
Holding my ground can be hard in some situations. So is sharing what I think when I don’t know the other person will respond. That loud voice in my head is very strong, saying things like, “You’re probably wrong,” or “Your voice won’t make a difference”.
But what if it’s not true? What if I’m actually right?
And what if God can use a quiet, gentle, firm voice that tells the truth without needing to prove anything?
Just like my journey with driving anxiety exposures, holding my ground in some conversations is hard. But I know it’s something I want to grow in. And it’s an area I know God wants to help me with.
Maybe God even wants to use my little voice to make a difference.
And standing in my identity in Christ, knowing that other people’s opinions have no bearing on who I am, is surely the key. I am loved. My identity is in Christ. When I keep my eyes on the Lord and look to Him for my identity, I can be confident, no matter how others respond.
‘Confidence’ is a song I wrote when I was processing some of these things.
I was made by Your hand
So only You can say who I am
In Jesus, I’ve been redeemed
You give me my identity
I am precious to You
Accepted, made new
I’m under your wings
You tell me I don’t need to fear
So I can lift up my voice and sing
Let my words be an offering
I can walk forward in faith
You’ll keep my heart safe
You are right here with me
A bruised reed You will not break
I’m under Your wings. I’ll be okay
Lord, You are my strength
And, Father, You give me confidence
So I let go of the lies
Cos they can never define me
I’m precious in Your eyes
You made me fearfully, wonderfully
I’m forgiven in Christ
I am Yours. You are mine
Your Spirit’s in me
And You’ve planned a future for me
I can lift up my voice and sing
Let my words be an offering
I can walk forward in faith
You’ll keep my heart safe
You are right here with me
A bruised reed You will not break
I’m under Your wings. I’ll be okay
Lord, You are my strength
And, Father, You give me confidence
Cos I’ve been chosen. I’m blessed, redeemed
In love You’ve adopted me
You’ve called me to be Your own in mercy
Your grace is lavished all over me
Your love’s my security
In Christ, I’m forgiven. I am free
Lord, You are my strength
And, Father, You give me confidence
And now I hear You calling me
To good works prepared for me
And You are sending
Your love affirming
You sent us into the world
You told us to spread the word
And You are with me
Let Your Spirit fill me
And You will make a way
And I will be amazed
At what You will do
At all of the ways You’ll come through
So I can lift up my voice and sing
Let my words be an offering
I can walk forward in faith
You’ll keep my heart safe
You are right here with me
A bruised reed You will not break
I’m under Your wings. I’ll be okay
Lord, You are my strength
And, Father, You give me confidence
You can listen to it on my album, ‘Your Love Says Come’, which you can sample below (it’s track 7).
May you also learn more about who God made you to be… and how that can help you in your story.
Want to read more about what it means to find your identity in Christ? You can in a free devotional I made For the Girl Who Longs to Know She is Loved.
God bless you today! 🙂
Caroline Abblitt 