Facing Fear, Baby Step by Baby Step

Do you ever feel like you’re not making enough progress on something you’re trying to do?

Like you’re just going too slowly?

Maybe it’s really working, and it just takes time.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you’ll probably know I have been slowly, quietly and thoroughly working on driving anxiety exposure therapy (see more posts here). And, honestly, it’s working!! But it’s taking time. And I wondered if my journey might be an encouragement to you in your own battles.

Sometimes I can get frustrated with myself for going too slowly. But I don’t think God wants me to do that. I think He wants me to stop, and take a breath, and realise how far I have come. And then to just prayerfully, dependently keep going.

My long term goal is to be able to drive on the motorway to the place where I work, which is around a 40-45 motorway/ dual carriageway journey from my home, with little bits of town driving thrown in. For me, that’s a big challenge!!

A year ago, when I started working with this ministry, the idea of driving there at all seemed impossible. But the Lord encouraged me to start somewhere, and to work on facing my fear, baby step by baby step.

It reminds of a time when I went to a dance class. We were learning a routine, and it felt complicated and tricky! But the teacher encouraged us to learn one little bit, and then you have one little piece of the dance! When you’ve got that bit, you can add another one on!

When I first started this ministry, I often went to work on the train. The train stops at various places along the way. I was praying about a better plan, and began to wonder whether I could drive part of the way and get the train.

Driving to a station halfway seemed just about impossible! But I prayed about it, and felt like God showed me a station to try. The thought of it felt impossible! But I decided to have a go at the first part of the journey on a day off. It worked! I did it again and again. And then I added a little bit more. I began to do the journey over and over again when I got the opportunity, on Saturday afternoons and in little gaps, just doing this short back route. There were stops and starts, and one day I almost got to my goal, got lost in the dark and struggled to get home (friends prayed me home!) But the Lord helped me try again. After a while, I made it to the  station on a Saturday afternoon!  Now I could look out for a chance to try it for real, on a day when I was going to work!

It took time to find a good opportunity (when I felt refreshed and strong enough to try it), but there was a day when I drove 40 mins on back roads and shakily made it to that station, got on the train and made it to work. It was hard to get home that night, but friends prayed me home and I made it! It worked!! It got easier as I did the same thing over and over again.

After a while, I began to wonder whether I could get further down the train line. I prayed and looked at online maps, and realised that I could go on a back route to another station, which was further along, but just about doable. Getting all the way there in one go seemed too much, but I decided I could try a bit of it. One Saturday, I had a go. I didn’t get all the way, but I figured out the first few steps, drove part of the way and turned around. The next weekend, I did the same thing, added a bit more on, and made it to the station!

Soon afterwards, I got to that station for real on a work day, and the train to work only took about five minutes! 

I looked at an online map again. From that station, I was just over 10 mins from work! The route looked hard. I prayed and figured out a way of making it more manageable, by going a roundabout way on easier roads. Then, one Saturday, I had a go… and I actually got to my workplace! Sure it was on back roads, the easiest way possible. But it still felt incredible! 

And I finally did it for real. Shakily, with friends praying. And it worked! I got there, and with effort through tiredness, I got back.

I have found more opportunities to try again, and again, and after a few weeks it’s got to the point now where that route feels pretty easy! So I’ve begun to adapt it a bit, with a couple of tiny baby steps, beginning to include little tastes of bigger roads.

My long term goal is to do the whole route on big roads (gulp). That feels almost impossible right now!! But I think that taking baby steps in that direction over time could work. So I’ve been prayerfully looking at an online map, and trying out tiny modifications, and I think a plan is forming.

I think that, over time, for as long as it takes, I need to add incremental steps to get closer to the final goal, reinforcing each one over and over until it feels strong enough, and then adding the next one. I’m pretty sure it’s going to take a while. But I’m also pretty confident that, with God’s help, it will eventually work. 

Getting to work in my car feels easy now, with my creative baby step/back road route. And, with God’s help, I think there will be a day when the whole thing on big roads feels easy, too!

All the glory goes to God. I know I can’t do this without Him, and the prayers of my friends have helped more than I can say! But He is really answering prayer, and it’s amazing.

Maybe your battle isn’t driving. Maybe it’s something else. But I know that God can help you with your battle, too (and if you don’t know Him yet, you can find out more here).

I’m learning that sometimes progress take time, and baby steps. Just one tiny step in front of that other. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t progress! And maybe a thorough, gradual deliverance is better than something fast that doesn’t last.

I can’t actually believe how far God has brought me with driving. It makes me wonder how else He might want to break through. And it encourages me that He can help you with your battles, too!