I’m learning that God can make things possible that felt impossible to me!! Have you ever seen that in your life? Do you wonder whether you could?
I just thought I would give an update on my driving journey. If you’ve been reading other posts (like this one), you may know that I have struggled for years driving anxiety, and God has been leading me through a slow, thorough, baby step progress of healing with it.
The past few weeks have been a bit up and down with driving. I was away on and off for a month, and it meant that I wasn’t driving much. In addition to that, before going away, I’d had some difficult motorway journeys that had shaken my confidence. And then I was out of practice. So, when I got back after travelling around, I’d lost quite a bit of ground. I was very hesitant about getting back on the motorway. I did a very short motorway journey one day, and it was HARD, and I got upset. So I was pretty reluctant to try another one. I thought about it, but I’d lost my confidence. A couple of times, I almost got onto the motorway, but backed out at the last minute, second-guessing myself. I even backed out of an easier 50mph route.
I began to feel pretty stuck! So I prayed about it. A friend and I met for lunch, and we prayed about together about my driving. After that lunch, I decided to drive home on the motorway. Yes, it was hard, but I did it. A couple of days later, I tried another tiny motorway journey to church. It wasn’t quite so hard. But I’d already decided I wasn’t going back home on the motorway. I’d had an anxious wobble on that road a few weeks before, and that particular route just felt too much. And then, after a church, a friend and I prayed what felt like a very powerful prayer. She really prayed into the fear. And she said she had a sense that God will completely take this away in time, so that I can drive anywhere without it being an issue! That was encouraging!
After praying with my friend, I began to wonder whether I might drive home on the motorway… but I was very reluctant, and decided I probably wasn’t up to it. And then, as I started to go home, it felt like the Holy Spirit was prompting me to go onto the motorway. And I really didn’t want to! I prayed something like, ‘Lord, please can I not? Please can I not do that yet?’ But I sensed a kind but firm leading that yes, He really wanted me to get onto the motorway. Really, Lord? So I committed it to Him, and got my little red car onto the slip road. And strength just came. Honestly, it was fine! I was peaceful and calm, singing to a worship CD, and got home with no problems!! And it gave me so much confidence back!
Since then, I’ve done a few more little motorway journeys, and they’ve been mostly fine, and easier every time!
This week, I made real progress on a longer journey I’m building up to. I practiced it at the weekend, and did it for real for work a couple of days later. I’m taking it slowly, on back roads at the moment, but it’s really coming! It’s working!! It makes me wonder where I might be driving in a year’s time!!
With prayer, time, baby steps and God’s help, this thorough driving exposure process is really working!!
If you’d told me a year ago that I would driving like this, I would never have believed you. It felt impossible. I still don’t really believe it! But I’m learning that God can break through my “impossible”.
Maybe your battle isn’t driving. Maybe it’s something else. But I wonder what God wants to do in your life, too. Is there an “impossible” you could pray into today? 😉
(You can find out more about how you can know God for yourself by listening to a little message from me, here).
Caroline Abblitt 